Are you in Suspended Traumatic Grief? 

A few years ago, new buzzwords became prominent including: pandemic, quarantine, face masks, isolation, social distancing, ICU unit, COVID testing, death toll, virtual learning, and telehealth. The pandemic set the stage for increased demand of teletherapy sessions due in part to people grieving unprecedented losses and facing the associated anxiety and depression. In the last couple of years and months, horrific war and acts of terrorism have broken out and globally people are facing devastating and traumatic losses. As Vázquez Bandín (2020), a psychotherapist based in Spain, described at the height of the pandemic, “Living a loss is painful and difficult. In these times of pandemic disease, it is even more distressing.” The author spoke to the unique trauma of being “powerless with an unfinished history, with an unfulfilled human task: to be able to see their dying off, to be able to bury their dead, to be able to say goodbye to them, to be able to have a proper grief. It is difficult for the mind to close what is left unfinished in the experience. It becomes an obsessive thought, a permanent shock, or even worse, it turns into some form of physical or mental illness; in short, a trauma and a suspended grief” (p. 358). In this suspended grief, mourners have been left with the “impossibility of the living to be comforted in close proximity to others – without hugs, touch, and bodily affection…no way to say goodbye or have a memorial or ceremony to honor and gather with friends and family” (Vázquez Bandín, 2020, p. 358). The collective pandemic isolation combined with grieving loved ones created a storm for complex traumatic grief. Vázquez Bandín (2020) urges that “….the help of professionals is recommended in the case of coronavirus 2019 crisis, not only because living a loss is a painful personal process to endure but also because these losses have occurred in catastrophic and devastating social conditions” (p. 357). 

Traumatic grief, also known as complex grief, goes beyond the normal bereavement process and a traditional trauma lens because it brings with it unique psychosocial and neuropsychological elements (Hagl et al., 2015; O’Connor, 2013; Alonso, 2020). It is not unusual for psychopathology to follow after a traumatic loss. Estimates range from 10-15% of people who lose a loved one experience heightened depressive symptoms and posttraumatic symptoms that extend beyond the typical bereavement passage of time, which may be in part due to pre-occurring individual biological, psychological, or environmental stressors or due to the nature or type of loss such as unprecedented losses due to a pandemic, war, or a loss incongruent with the natural developmental timeline such as losing a child or an adolescent or a young child losing a parent (Alonso, 2020; O’Connor, 2013). Not only are grievers left to process the traumatic and sometimes unfinished business of the loss, but they have also lost emotional and practical support and possibly financial security (Hagl et al., 2015).

Traumatic grief symptoms may include but are not limited to depression, intense yearning, emptiness, numbing, activity avoidance, anxiety, ruminating thoughts and may precipitate psychosomatic occurrences, substance use, and increased risk of death by suicide or death due to accidents or health issues within the first year after the traumatic loss (Alonso, 2020; Hagl et al., 2015).

Persistent Complex Bereavement Disorder, includes a 12-month minimum for adults of either or multiple expressions of “persistent yearning…intense sorrow…preoccupation with the deceased” or “with the circumstances of the death.” In addition, at least six symptoms related to “reactive distress to the death” including but not limited to “marked difficulty accepting the death” or “social identity disruption” such as, “a desire to die in order to be with the deceased” (p. 789-790). A specifier of “traumatic bereavement” is proposed that includes the death of a loved one due to homicide or suicide. 

Some people have yet to process the grief of those lost by covid and many more will need support from other global traumatic wars and acts of terrorism that have taken place in the last couple of years and months.

If you suspect you may be suffering from traumatic grief or persistent complex bereavement for any reason, you do not need to go through it alone. I am here to support you during this difficult time. You can go to my contact page to reach out.  

O’Connor, M., Piet, J., & Hougaard, E. (2014). The effects of mindfulness-based cognitive therapy on depressive symptoms in elderly bereaved people with loss-related distress: A controlled pilot study. Mindfulness, 5(4), 400–409. https://doi-org.lib.pepperdine.edu/10.1007/s12671-013-0194-x

Vázquez Bandín, C. (2020). Only the living can witness the passing of death: Mourning in times of pandemic. The Humanistic Psychologist, 48(4), 357–362. https://doi-org.lib.pepperdine.edu/10.1037/hum0000225