Are You Dating an Avoidantly Attached Partner?

10 Subtle Signs After 6 Months Together

Written from the heart of a therapist’s chair

After about six months into a relationship, patterns start to solidify. The honeymoon phase gives way to something more revealing—something more real. As a therapist, I often hear clients quietly ask, “Is it normal that I still feel like a stranger to my partner?” If you’ve been dating someone for half a year and you’re starting to question their emotional availability, you might be experiencing the effects of avoidant attachment.

Here are some signs to gently tune into—because your feelings matter, and so does your need for connection.

1. You’re still only seeing each other once a week—by their choice.

In the early days, that might have felt romantic, even refreshing. But six months in, if they’re not initiating more time together or seem resistant to it, it could signal discomfort with too much closeness.

2. Your dates are always “doing” things, rarely “being.”

Rock climbing, concerts, errands… but deep conversation over wine or a lazy Sunday morning in bed? Not so much. Avoidantly attached partners often gravitate toward activity-based dates that don’t require emotional vulnerability.

3. The idea of a weekend getaway just… doesn’t happen.

You’ve hinted, maybe even suggested. But there’s always a reason: busy at work, not feeling up to it, not the right time. Planning future closeness can be overwhelming for someone who fears intimacy.

4. They said no to being your plus-one—to a big event.

A friend’s wedding, your cousin’s birthday party. They made an excuse, or said they just don’t like “those things.” But showing up for your people is part of showing up for you.

5. They avoid meeting your family—even when it’s easy.

Your parents live a short drive away, but they’ve never shown interest in saying hello or joining you. It’s not about the distance—it’s the emotional commitment that they might be resisting.

6. You don’t exist on their social media.

No pressure to post every moment, but if they’re active online and haven’t acknowledged your relationship in any way, you might be wondering: Are they protecting their privacy or their independence?

7. When you open up, they’re… elsewhere.

You’re trying to be vulnerable, but they’re half-scrolling on their phone, multitasking, or checking out. It can feel like your emotions are an inconvenience.

8. “How are you feeling?” gets a classic “I’m fine.”

You’re trying to connect. They give you a surface-level answer and shift the conversation. It’s not that they don’t feel—it’s that they may not know how to share those feelings safely.

9. Relationship conversations are always postponed.

You bring up something that’s bothering you, and they’re too tired, not in the mood, or “don’t want to ruin the vibe.” And so your needs get put on the back burner—again.

10. Any talk about the future? Cue the jokes.

You bring up moving in, traveling together, or long-term goals—and suddenly, they’re deflecting with humor. It’s not that they’re funny (okay, maybe they are)—it’s that vulnerability feels unsafe for them.

So, what now?

If you’re nodding along, take a deep breath. You’re not imagining things. These aren’t just quirks—they’re patterns. Avoidantly attached individuals often crave connection but fear what it will cost them. That push-pull dynamic can leave you feeling confused, unseen, and emotionally lonely—even if the relationship looks “fine” on the surface.

It doesn’t mean your partner is a bad person. It means they may have learned early on that closeness equals vulnerability, and vulnerability equals risk. But here’s the thing: your emotional needs are not too much. Wanting closeness, consistency, and communication is not clingy—it’s human.

As a therapist, here’s what I often tell my clients:

If you feel like you’re constantly managing your partner’s comfort while silencing your own needs, it’s worth exploring. You don’t have to settle for emotional breadcrumbs. A secure, loving relationship isn’t about walking on eggshells—it’s about building something safe together.

And you deserve nothing less.

Ready to explore what you need in love? Therapy can help.

If this post stirred something in you—confusion, clarity, even grief—you’re not alone. Whether you’re navigating an avoidant partner, questioning the health of your relationship, or just trying to understand your attachment style, therapy offers a safe, judgment-free space to unpack it all.

You don’t have to figure it out by yourself.

Together, we can explore how you show up in relationships, what feels fulfilling (and what doesn’t), and how to create the kind of connection you truly want. Because you deserve more than guessing games—you deserve secure, soulful love.

Interested in starting? Let’s talk.